Vulnerability a weakness I simply can not risk. I consider myself to be a strong woman, I make no time for self-pity.
So long I spent with painful secrets, refusing to be defined by what had happened. I worked so hard to file each struggle away, tightly sealed and stuffed away in the dark and dusty space of my mind.
So many potentially crushing moments, never fully faced or erased but quickly packed away, to be forgotten and overcome.
My strength derived from self reliance, the relentless persute of the silver lining and a will to move on. Now, in a new and far more secure place in life, this strength is becoming a detriment. No longer necessary, I find my self tripping over it as it changes from from a necessity for survival, to an impediment of stubbornness.
It is so incredibly difficult, for me to trust in others, to ask for even the smallest bit of help. Though I would give my all to help and support those around me.
Perhaps it takes more strength to trust and accept vulnerability not as a weakness, but an opportunity in life to enhance and enrich relationships and truly embrace them as a gift.
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