Today, was an EPIC FAIL!!!

EmilyRandom stories meant for a good laugh., Unfiltered Notes4 Comments

Front CameraI wasn’t going to say anything about the job until I landed it…WELL that won’t be happening!  So, let me share the events that led to me, BOMBING the interview for my dream job. A very lucrative job, I turned down 3 years ago … Because I didn’t want to relocate to D.C.????( Irony).

Anxious, excited, nervous for the big interview, I pack my gym bag so that I can hit spin class and get ready at the gym. (This was my master plan, to ensure I would walk into the interview calm, collected and focused…The complete opposite of how I feel after attempting to get ready at home, with a toddler who is far to curious about my body in the shower and morphs into a WWF wrestler when I attempt to apply eyeliner).

I meticulously pack my gym bag with a pencil skirt, a modest modern sheer blouse, an appropriately nude bra, professional heels, nylons, etc. I timed it perfectly! The sitter arrives 10 min early to watch Ava while my oldest is at school. I snag my bag from Ava who of course has it open (contents completely disheveled) and head off to the gym, tickled with the head start.

50 min of spin, 10 min shower, 20 min hair and makeup. Now to get dressed…. this is where my day dove face first down crap-o-la hill!

Nylons; why does it look like I wore these in a barbed wire- hurdles event?…. Sigh Ava had caught them up in the zipper while “helping me” rearrange the contents of the bag. “O well” I think to my self,  I can pull off no hose,thank god I shaved my legs.

Skirt, heels, bra….., bra…. Where the hell is my bra? You have to be kidding me… I’ll be way late to the interview if I go home for a bra.  And no, I couldn’t just wear my sports bra, I had worn one of those normally, “awesome” tops w the bra sewn in. Today, I loath this clever innovation! Well, to make this to long of a story shorter…

I ended up at the interview looking like, “Tits McGee” in a room where they forgot it was NOVEMBER!!! With the ac on full blast, no nylons, peanut butter smeared on the a$$ of my skirt.  That, I might add, I didn’t see until I got home. I was so flustered that “confident and competent” are the last thing on the interview teams mind, I am sure of this!!

On my drive home knowing I had just BOMBED my interview, I tried to gain perspective and tell my self, that the days events just meant it wasn’t meant to be yet, the girls must still need me at home.

………. Upon walking through the door Ava begins screaming No,No,nooooooooo and launches into a flailing whirlwind of tantrums and poop that have yet to give me a moment to let the days events really sink in…. Sigh, just so you girls of mine know, I love you deeply!!!

But when you are sixteen, I may walk you into school every day in the exact outfit Ava send me of in today…. ????????????

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4 Comments on “Today, was an EPIC FAIL!!!”

  1. This is such a great story. You should feel proud and happy that you are the Mom who chooses to laugh!

    1. Thanks!! I finally decided to put it al in a blog like every one said. It is still in rough draft form, but I had to start somewhere =)

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